Tell me what's wrong with the statements below. No, please do! Cause I've been trying to figure this out forever. Either retards have made me lose too many brain cells or something else is causing this. Honestly, I think the govs are just brain-dead. 
I nearly slit a person's throat.
What do I get? A fucking slap on the God damn wrist!
I brutally beat my parents and sibling.
What do I get? 1.5 years probation and loony bin for two weeks.
I drink a near (0.5% alcohol) beer.
What will I get? TWO MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN YEARS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN HOLE!!!!
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And EVERYONE (obviously, except for govs) knows that it's impossible to get even the slightest bit drunk off near beer. Besides being extremely outright retarded, this is way too fucking funny.
I nearly slit a person's throat.
What do I get? A fucking slap on the God damn wrist!
I brutally beat my parents and sibling.
What do I get? 1.5 years probation and loony bin for two weeks.
I drink a near (0.5% alcohol) beer.
What will I get? TWO MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN YEARS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN HOLE!!!!
------------------------------------
And EVERYONE (obviously, except for govs) knows that it's impossible to get even the slightest bit drunk off near beer. Besides being extremely outright retarded, this is way too fucking funny.
